Living alone as an adult with no children is top tier elite. It’s hard to put into words just how awesome it is. Imagine how awesome it would be if you were a ten-year-old kid with an unlimited allowance, really awesome parents, and the biggest and coolest house in your class. It’s that kind of awesome (lol).
But on a more serious note, imagine having a cozy, clean, comfy space all to yourself. You can plop on the sofa and zone out for three hours in silence if you want (results may vary if you have dogs…lol). No one is bothering you. No one is talking to you or asking you questions. When you clean up, your space is exactly how you left it. Ahh, it’s heavenly. And no, I’m not trading that in—not without major incentives.
That’s why conversations about traditional expectations don’t always land with me.
I recently had a gentleman tell me to learn what it’s like to be married to a man from his culture and then began listing all the things wives are expected to do. Since I love digging into people’s heads, I feigned enough interest and agreement to keep him talking. I busted out laughing when I had heard enough.
Yeah, that’s cool, sir—but I’m not doing any of that (lol). As a matter of fact, we aren’t even going to live under the same roof.
I will absolutely live separately from my spouse. Depending on how consistently good he is to me, I might be willing to compromise with only separate bedrooms. We can have sleepovers, but ultimately, I need my space—and he should have his as well.
For me, independence isn’t something I’m trying to escape from. It’s something I’ve built, protected, and learned to truly enjoy. It allows me to think clearly, move intentionally, and show up as my best self in every area of my life.
And honestly, I think more people would be happier if they created lives they actually enjoy living—rather than defaulting to what they think life is supposed to look like.
There is nothing wrong with partnership. There is nothing wrong with marriage. But there is also nothing wrong with wanting peace, space, and autonomy.
For me, the standard is simple: anything I add to my life has to make it better than it already is.
And right now… this life is pretty amazing.